Sentimental Sunday... A Slice of Life from the Hero Stories

 

Slice of Life has given the prompt this week to write about 'If I could turn back time.'

That is a dangerous subject for a widow, but I have a wonderful comforting story that goes with the prompt.
When the Hero and I had been married two years, we came to a point in our marriage that many young couple face.  Our goals and interests had pulled us in separate directions.  He was involved in creating products for his dad's building materials company and an helping it grow.  I was involved in nursing school and becoming a professional.  We had a little daughter that we both loved dearly, but struggled to focus on family time.  We felt our relationship falling apart.  A friend invited us to go to a new movie that was out.  We thought great! We haven't been on a date in ages.  We went.  Three hours later we were sitting on our couch at home crying for what we thought was a lost marriage.  (Don't ever go to a movie about a broken marriage ending in divorce to bring yourselves together.  Not a good thing.)   We looked at each other and wondered if we would ever be the same.
Divine providence, God, whatever name you want to put with it, played a hand in our lives.  A few weeks later, the Hero was asked to go to a business meeting in El Paso which was 600+ miles away.  He wanted to go, but decided  he would only go if his family could go with him and the trip would be by car.  His dad hem and hawed then conceded. 
There are many stories that came out of this trip, but the most important that we shared with everyone was the discovery we made and never let go of.
In the long trip to El Paso, ( anyone who has traveled across Texas knows... it is a LONG trip) we began to visit.  We started sharing what our hopes were for our work, for our child, for our individual life and together.  We actually talked the entire trip out to El Paso only to stop to sleep.  In gaining insight into each other, we began to feel the love we had for each other blossoming again.  We saw the person we had married again.  It was exhilarating.  We were excited.  The Hero got food poisoning, and didn't make it to all his meetings, but we had plenty of one on one time together and with our little sweetie.  It was heart expanding to experience our family becoming the core of our lives again. 

By the time we made it back to Houston, we had turned back time to start over again.  We were one again, with the resolve to never let our relationship deteriorate again.  Our discovery was to share, to talk, to spend time together, not letting that which was not most important interfere with the most important.  It worked for another 35 years until the Hero left this life.  I am grateful for that time and for a Heavenly Father that provided the opportunity, a Hero that desired wholeheartedly for his marriage to be whole, my heart was there also.  He is missed.  There might be a better way to write the story, but it is very near and dear to my heart, and I am stretching trying to write about it.  Hugs.

Tombstone Tuesday Or How A Death Certificate Helped Find The Grave

Walter Vance's tombstone had eluded me.

Three Children, one Grandchild

My mother-in-law said her father died in Fresno, and that she and her siblings had driven out to Fresno to bury him.  I had the California Death information from online so didn't consider purchasing a Death Certificate until I had called all the Fresno Mortuaries from the 1945 era without any results.  The Death Certificate became the focused way to find out who handled the burial. 
Since I was not a blood descendant... granddaughter-in-law ..., and California Death Certificate applications require relationship, my daughter and I went on a genealogy trip to Fresno County Hall of Records. When we stepped inside the building it was like stepping back in time.  The decor is still 1930-1940's. 

We, I say we because I brought all my genealogy information on Walter, filled out the application and handed it to the lady behind the desk.  She was surprised at the date. "1945?" she asked.  We nodded our heads and smiled.  Off she went and in less than 5 minutes she was back with the Death Certificate. 

It had the Yost and Webb Mortuary as the embalmers. They are the oldest Funeral home in the area.  Investigating the document further,  it said "Removal" in the burial information.  Now what did that mean?
Since I was sitting outside the Fesno Zoo for the afternoon fun part of the trip for the toddlers, I called my daughter in Idaho (don't you love having a  network to assist) and got the phone number of the Funeral home from her.  A quick call, the miracle of computers, and an understanding member of the funeral home revealed they had removed his body  to Bakersfield.  There wasn't any notation as to which funeral home it was they had removed him too.
The next day I began my calls to Mortuary/Funeral Homes in Bakersfield.  The first one said to call the Greenlawn Mortuary in Bakersfield as they were one of the oldest funeral homes. A quick internet look revealed they had built their chapel in 1941. Perfect.  Another call.  The lady who answered was so sweet. She looked immediately and came back to the phone saying he is buried in the Slumberland lawn.  My heart was so full!  First try, and they knew exact space3, lot A and block 71 that he was buried in. 
On Sunday we would go down and see if there was a stone still there.
Sunday arrived.  After church, we drove to Bakersfield.  The same Lady I talked with on the phone was at the desk. Bless her heart, she had everything there.  She gave me a copy of their index card.

We followed the map and there was the grave on a quiet slope.

The daughter and family who helped make it happen while I visited them.

Looking at the picture of the children at the grave in 1945, it appears to be the same spot.

I still would have missed it on an index. Who would have looked for the nickname "Bob" that didn't have anything to do with his name. Go figure.

 I will share with you in another post about the new parts of Walter's life we learned from the Death Certificate.