This is the time of year that many of us are wondering why we bought certain toys for our children. The Hero's mom told me of one such year. They had bought him a garden set and told him it was for outdoor playing. Mom said in her incredulous voice when I was visiting with her a year after the hero and I were married. "I gave him this garden rake with a stern warning. Do not play with it in the house! What happened? Look at my Secretary (a beautiful piece of furniture), you will see a scar on the front where he ran through the living room waving the rake and banging as he went. Don't let your children play with outside toys in the house!" Looking at his picture from that time period, I would have thought he would have stolen the heart and got away with anything. BUT apparently not.
The Hero was shocked
that she still remembered and held the action against him. I took a life
lesson from it. Don't have outside toys in the house. Forget it if
you child breaks something. Bringing up an old action years later does
not help relationships. I have a wall that the children used to mark their
heights. (This reminds me, I need to take a picture of it before my son
tears it down.) I treasure the silly wall because I remember their sense
of excitement as to who was going to be the tallest 'this time'.
The Hero was such an active and alert little boy. I can imagine, if it was today, he would have spent a lot of time in 'time out'. Don't give your adult child pain by bringing up something in a hurtful manner from their youth.
The Hero was such an active and alert little boy. I can imagine, if it was today, he would have spent a lot of time in 'time out'. Don't give your adult child pain by bringing up something in a hurtful manner from their youth.
TRUE TRUE TRUE!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the gentle reminder.
If only every parent would take that advice and not bring up the past. That goes for siblings, too!
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes telling those tales of childhood, good and not so good, are ways of reliving such precious moments in our lives. Guess children of all ages just have to put up with moms (of all ages).
ReplyDeleteMy inlaws are good at story telling of their children, and not so bad. Well we have heard them many times.smile. I wish I were as good at it as they are. Guess I could think of a few ahead. Cause they like to tell it too. Those kind make the kids feel good for parents to tell others.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as the damage done, mine is son was swinging on the door and kicking, now I would not maybe remember it except there was no tears or remorse from him that sticks with me. he never said he was sorry, it was not really a punishible thing. Normally I see he can say he is sorry. It always puzzled me. I was the one crying in the bathroom, cause all my pretties were in that one cabinet. At that time I had so few that he knocked over. Inlaws said, I should have had it anchored together and better. True. Now and then I think of it at moments and brush it aside. it's still there though and remember not to put all my pretty eggs in one basket from time to time.
Hugs and Thank you to all for your comments. True Joan, we do, but maybe it can be the way it is said.
ReplyDeleteRootdigger, I understand exactly what you are saying. Sometimes a do you remember question will bring out the story from their side. I too realized not to keep my "pretties" in precarious places, but I also learned to put the scale balance on the side where things don't matter. Relationships are on the heavy side.