A Funny Thing Happened the Way To Grandma's...

As I was making my way over the creek (no river on my land),  and through the woods to see my son, I let my mind wander to Thanksgivings in the past.
It was a tradition for my dad, mom, and I to go back to Pawnee to see family.  Today an hour drive doesn't seem like much but back then, it was FOREVER. Riding in the car with my parents was always and adventure. My mom and dad loved each other very much, BUT were not above a spirited disagreement. My mom had a funny history of getting her driver's license that should have kept her from being one to tell another how to drive, BUT it didn't keep her from being a backseat driver.

My memory of this particular Thanksgiving was enhanced by my dad's response and follow up.  It was the best ever...I was laughing as I drove with this playing out in my mind. (btw if you see a little blue car with a yellow stick on the back that says "Genealogist don't die they just lose their census" know the driver is 50 % in the present and 50% in the past. 😉 Back to my story...

After we had been driving about thirty minutes and mom never stopped with "Lester, you're going too fast." "Lester, watch out you are too close to the car ahead of us." "Lester, slow down." etc. etc.,
he said "Mary, that is enough." He pulled over to the side of the road, got out, handed her the keys, and said "Mary, you drive since you know best how to do it."  She protested, but he got in the back seat with me and leaned back with his hands behind his head.  She got into the driver's seat and started the car, and off we went.  At first I was wondering what on earth was going on, then about five minutes on the road on my dad began pointing out everything she was doing and exaggerating about her choices.  This went on for about fifteen minutes and she began to laugh and pulled over to the side of the road.  Point made, and driver was changed again. The rest of the trip was made without conflict.
Do you have a story to top it?

Tombstone Tuesday ~ The Care Taker Becomes the One Cared For

In 2010, we took Mildred to clean and care for her husband's grave and she took the time to talk with her granddaughter and great grand children.

In 2012, a picture my brother in law took of her on Memorial Day when they went and cleaned the tombstone.

2014, My sister in law on Memorial Day after she and her brother cleaned the tombstone for Mildred and Ed her husband.
How time passes.

Transcription of Ray Whitson's Letter Describing His Father

Page 1: This is a few things that I remember about our dad. He was born in Terre Houte Ind. Had five brothers, (to my knowledge he never mentioned any sisters) [this was added to the side in his handwriting... but one] They scattered going to Missouri, Luisianna, Texas, and so on. Uncle Lute and his sister settled in Custer Okla., just south of Fay about 40 miles by the Frisco RR.

Page 2: Most of the boys served in the Spanish American War. Dad was a "Sooner" He cowboyed a lot. For a while he ran a 'quail route'. He would furnish the shells and pay them about 75 cents a dozen. One time while going over the route he had a large wagon load of quail, the tarp that covered them had come loose and the quail could be seen. Dad did not know it until a game...

Page 3: warden passed by and looking back saw it and almost fainted. "I would think". Dad shipped them back fast and to Guthrie, Okla. One time at Fay, he shipped two truck loads and the deputy tried to arrest him; Dad told him to come and take his guns, he wore pistols at that time. By the was the deputy was a man by the name of Boyd. Later became Lester Morse's father in law, your cousin dad's , married a Morse. Boyd never liked Dad after that.

Page 4: Historical thought. Jessie James married a Whitson, "his only wife" in Missouri. So by shirttail relation we are related to him. After he met mother he settled down and became foreman of the Davidson ranch, just out of Arnett Okla. There were over 350,000 acres in the ranch. Part of it was government land. Today over half of it is a game reserve. The day Dad married...

Page 5: Mother they had to cross over the south Canadian River. They attempted to cross just below the Fresco RR Bridge. The bridge had been washed out earlier. In crossing one of the horses drowned the other horse in a deep pot hole. Dad cut the horses loose, lost nearly everything. Mother had to strip down to her red flannels, "it was in the winter". If the men working on the bridge had not come...

Page 6: to their rescue, mother might have drowned. The river was near flood stage. My memories of him. Cotton Cake I was the fourth child. At my first recollections as I look back dad was a kind family man, and was until his ordeal with cancer. On the ranch he took me (only 4 or 5 years of age) with him. Sometimes on the saddle with him, sometimes in a wagon loaded with cotton seed cake. They would pour the cake out the back of the wagon onto the ground.....

Page 7: ...for the cattle to eat. One time we were at the watering place (windmill and tank). Mr Davidson and dad had pure alcohol from Canada hidden near by. They would delute the alcohol with water and sugar. They were very secretive about it. One time just as the moon was coming up, dad let us kids fire his pistol. I thought I had hit it because of the fire from the gun. Another time he came racing up on a beautiful ...

Page 8: ....blaze faced horse, grabbed and kissed mother and told her about the *Champion Jack Johnson being whipped by Jefferies. He always brought us kids something. One time he brought me little red cowboy boots, they were too small. Shortly before that I had gotten caught in a cyote (coyote) trap, a large bump had formed and I couldn't get the boots on. Dad was quite a bronc buster.. He had many fine horses. We left off as Ray was telling Mary that their dad was quite a horse buster and always and fine horses.

Page 9: Dad decided to move to Arnett so the kids could be close to school. There were only one seven miles from home. There were about 6 kids by then. Mr Davidson offerd dad a junior partnership if he would stay, but dad wanted us kids to get an education. Ive always thought he could have hired someone to take us. He went into the freight business. It never turned out like he thought it would. He tried farming...

Page 10: He had a model T FORD rigged up with tractor wheels in the back, also had a barrel of water connected up to the radiator o keep it from heating up. He would take one of us kids to be with him while he plowed. On time I got sick on eating too much of the lunch. In the winter time, he would come in from the cold and warm himself at the kitchen wood stove. Often he would let me sit on his lap during these times. This shows the kind of father he was.

newspaper article from that time period. Must have been what the tractor looked like.

Page 11: We moved to Fay in three covered wagons, took several days, onto grandmother's homestead. It was close to the Frisco River Bridge. World War one broke out and dad went to Fort Sill to help as a taxi driver, his own cab, The car did not have a door on the drivers side. He would climb out over his side of the car hitting his knee on the mechanical horn, bruising it. Which caused the cancer to start in the knee area.

 Page 12: Doctors didn't know much about cancer at that time. They thought at first it was only pain cause by the continued knocking. He had a nervous breakdown and had to be rushed to Oklahoma City where they cut the leg off at the knee. They tried to get him to cut the leg off at the hip. He wanted to have an artificial leg, being an outdoors man all his life. I think he would have lived many years longer if had. It was at the time...

Page 13: that he became irritable and short tempered. No one will ever know what he went through in the suffering, later he would hold his stump in his hands to keep it from jerking. He didn't have the pain pills we have today. His body finally rejected aspirins. He got to where he would take a dozen at one time and it did not help much. I think this would adversely affect anyone, don't you?

Page 14: Dear Mary I will quit for now. I will tr to fill in gaps that I have overlooked. I have always loved the memory of my kids but like my dad I have accepted it as something I had to give up and live with. Your Brother Ray P.S. it the other kids would like to read the details of dad's life will you let them?

(My notes on the historical background: I researched the Davidson Ranch. On page 43 of Notes from Ellis and Cimarron Counties, it says part of the land was 12 miles southeast of Arnett. This Popular Science in 1894 explains about Cotton Cake and Cotton Seed. *This was "The "Fight of the Century" in 1910 and my grandfather apparently had not stayed to the end. Champion Jack Johnston was the first African American world heavyweight boxing champion (1908–1915) I researched and found that there was a kit sold that utilized the Model T and a tractor wheel. I have made a collage of newspaper articles and ads. Surgery would have been done at St Anthony Hospital. This was the hospital I worked as an Inhalation Therapy Tech during the Viet Nam War.)

52 Ancestors Weeks Challenge: Week 6; The Story of Bessie Langley As Told By Her Granddaughter

When Bessie Della Langley was born on December 4, 1895, in Rayville, Missouri, her father, Benedict Langley, was 43 and her mother, Sarah Jane Hankins, was 39.

This story was related to me by Debra West-Mouze granddaughter of Bessie Della Langley Lane Bowen in 2003. The second generation of descendants in Oklahoma had lost contact with Bessie when she moved to California.  It was a great blessing when she found me on Rootsweb and began to correspond with me. I have lost contact with her, but hope to find her again. She said they have some pictures but we lost contact before she shared. The following is as she told the story to me along with excerpts from my paper trail research. This is long and I hope not too hard for you to read, as I chose to go with the story inserting genealogical proofs along the way.

Debra: My grandmother told me many stories about her life in Oklahoma and in California, most of them were short and many had lessons in them about life. The stories gave me just a glimpse of what her life was like raising 6 children during the 1920s to the 1940s.  They followed the fruit, living in their car, in tents, and in rented homes never having quite enough to buy a home. There were times they went to bed hungry.  I knew her as a private independent woman, with a strong belief in God and doing the right thing.  I never knew her to lie; she would not even lie about Santa Claus (much to my parents dismay), telling me at the age of 5 that there was no such thing!

I don’t know how old my grandmother was when her family moved from Missouri to Oklahoma, but she told me that she remembered the covered wagon trip and walking alongside the covered wagon with her siblings. [Here we can insert what we do know…]

In 1900, her father, Benedict, and mother, Sarah, were in Cloud Chief Twp., Washita County, Oklahoma with 5 of their children enumerated. Bessie would have been 5; she is not on the census. ( yes, I looked on the next page) . The note that Sarah had 5 children and 5 were living was added later, this was not in original pen. This was, however, what prompted me to tell Debra, I had been wondering if Bessie was a niece or something as I could not find her. Maybe it was dad giving the information and he forgot to add the little one, maybe the enumerator forgot to put her on the form. Who knows?  We do know that she was born in 1895 in Missouri and they are in Oklahoma in 1900.  My thoughts are they came to Oklahoma for the Land Rush in April 1899 and apparently did not obtain land as in 1900 he is renting.

1900 census Year: 1900; Census Place: Cloud Chief, Washita, Oklahoma;
Roll: 1342; Page: 10A; Enumeration District: 0207; FHL microfilm: 1241342.

Walter's family said this picture was of the Family Homestead. Bessie looks to have been about 5 or 6 here. The tall man in front of the house is Jesse Brummett... That is another story.

Continuing with the narrative… In Oklahoma, Bessie married Julius Lane when she was 14 or 15 years old, it was an arranged marriage and had something to do with a land deal.

Again, we have a paper trail… Someone was telling a story on the license. The marriage happened at her Sister Annie Bright’s, the witnesses were her brother in laws and brother. She is listed as 18 on the license BUT her birth date puts her at 16, which would go with her story. 

"Oklahoma, County Marriages, 1890-1995," index and images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/XVL1-75X : accessed 10 Feb 2014), Julious Lane and Bessie Langley, 1911

I am not sure about the land deal; Benedict did own a farm in 1920 according to the census. Maybe that is how she felt or maybe it was a deal.  (After hearing this story, I did ask and someone told me this did happen in Missouri… wouldn't you know it… cannot find the reference.)

When she was 17, she gave birth to twin boys, Willie, and Charlie. January 19, 1912. Willie was born small but fine and Charlie was born with cerebral palsy, my grandmother had a very hard time with the births and was in and out of consciousness for several days. [This portion of the story came from Debra’s mother because her grandmother would not talk about her first marriage, so Debra said the information was a little confused at times…]   Julius was very upset about the birth defect and after my grandmother recovered, he was quite mean to her blaming her for the defect. Walter, her brother came over and had a talk with Julius.  Shortly after, Julius left her and she returned to her family.  

Year: 1920; Census Place: Stonewall, Pontotoc, Oklahoma;
 Roll: T625_1480;Page: 2A; Enumeration District: 190; Image: 322

We are fortunate to have pictures of them with their grandmother, mother and aunts.

Left to right: Susie, Annie, Bessie, Emma with Nettie
In front: Sarah Hankins Langley with Charlie and Willie

Back to Debra’s narrative… A few years later my grandfather Lowery Bowen entered the picture. He was a field hand working for her father.  

"Oklahoma, County Marriages, 1890-1995," index and images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/XVLP-T4L : accessed 10 Feb 2014), Lowery Bowen and Bessie Lane, 1920.
Bessie was 22, Lowery was 20 and had to have his mother's permission to marry. 

Lowery Bowen was kind and gentle, but somewhat lazy. Bessie could not get him up to go to work in the morning.  She complained to her family and , late one night a group of men in hoods on horseback came and drug him out of the house and threatened to ride him out of town on a rail if he did not get out to work like a man and care for his family.  After that night, Bessie never had to get him up; he was up and out before dawn. Bessie thought that one of the men was her brother Walter, but was never told for sure.

(Now that I know about the Anti Thief Association, and their documented membership, Bessie's story points to at least who one of the masked men was.)

Debra said Bessie also told her that the territory was very rough, that you never traveled on the road without a handgun for protection against highwaymen, and that she remembered several town hangings.  Her daughter, Debra’s mother, thought they lived with Bessie’s mother after Benedict died.  (Sarah was actually living with her daughter Emma, according to Sarah’s death certificate and Emily’s residence in 1930.) Bessie and Lowery did live in Pawnee County, Oklahoma,  just not in the same area.  They were in Liberty and she was in Burnhaw as was Emily.

Bessie and Lowery left Oklahoma in 1936; their destination was California.  My mother, Oma, says she remembers they were forced to leave because the land was barren, my grandfather and my grandmother’s brothers worked in the oil fields for a while, but Lowery decided to leave for California where they could find work.  (Oma was only 4 when they left. It would most likely be she was sharing parents conversation she had overheard.)

The paper trail puts Bessie and Lowery in Kern County, California in 1935. They  lived in Bakersfield, Kern County, California when they got there and worked in the cotton field. Charlie one of the twins caught pneumonia and died in 1938 and was buried in a potter’s field in an unmarked grave.

Apparently by 1940 Lowery had work as a WPA worker, as listed on the 1940 US Federal California Census.

Year: 1940; Census Place:  , Kern, California; Roll: T627_213; Page: 25B; Enumeration District: 15-47.

That is where Debra left off.

In 1943, Lowery and Bessie are found in Bakersfield, California in the city directory.  Lowery is a mill man.

In 1953, they are found in Modesto, California city directory.  Lowery is working for Max Foster.

On 18 Feb 1969 in Stanislaus, California, Lowery dies.  

Bessie lives until 24 October 1985 when she dies away at Turlock, Stanislaus, California.  

Bessie Della Langley Bowen
She is loved by her family. 

52 Ancestors Weeks Challenge: Week 3; Lillie Langley Thole an Example for Everyone.

Lillie Lillian Langley Thole Birth 22 Feb 1924 in Pawnee, Oklahoma, USA Death 01 May 1963 in Wichita, Sedgwick, Kansas, USA

I have written about my Aunt Lillie before,  about how she is my role model of what type of person I want to be like.  I had included some aspects of her life from her second daughter’s perspective. (This is the daughter that did the DNA with me, we match so close.) The reason for choosing her for this post is that I am blessed to have been reunited with her oldest daughter , Barbara, who agreed to share her perspective. 

Anyway I approach it, Lillie Lillian Langley Thole, was a remarkable woman of worth.  Proverbs 31: 10 – 31

Lillie had thick dark brown hair, laughing eyes, and had the hint of smile always at the edges of her mouth.  She was happy and had a wonderful sense of humor. We all hoped to be like her, she never held grudges or hurt others feelings.

Digitized picture of a sketch which was of
of the photo Elmer carried through WWII in his pocket.

Grandma Langley told me and Barbara, her daughter, affirmed that she had Bright's disease as a child. Bright’s disease is an archaic term. It would now be some level of acute or chronic kidney disease.   Barbara’s Aunt Thelma told her the doctors said she should never have children.  She had 5; 3 girls and 2 boys. 

I wonder if she may have had anemia because she told Barbara, she had to eat lots of liver as a child.

Lillie and Barbara's Aunt Thelma were best friends growing up.  Thelma and Elmer saw(dated) each other before Lillie and Elmer got together. Thelma married Elmer’s brother Timothy Thole.

Barbara remembered Lillie saying her mother made her wear long skirts and high stockings to school.  Grandma wouldn't let her wear modern clothes;  that all the girls had gym shorts but she had to wear knee length bloomers.  I am fairly sure this is from Grandma Langley’s upbringing in the Church of Christ in the 1800s.  

Lillie adored her dad; his death was life changing for her.  Barbara never remembered visiting grandma after that, until Grandma Langley  was taking care of her mother, our Great Grandma Gildon. Barbara adored her. 

Lillie and all her family were close.  This I actually found third party evidence of in old newspapers. 

Social notation in the Pawnee Chief, that Lillie's sister and parents went to visit
her and Elmer when he was home on furlough.

The sisters had a bond that was to be envied, until...Grandma Langley upset Aunt Lynn (something none of us little ones were never told about).  Aunt Lynn stormed in and slapped Aunt Dora at a family gathering.  I have written this story here. Barbara said her mother was beside herself. She gathered her children, up and left.  They did work it out but not until they were 60.   Lillie would let her children go visit her sisters in the summertime.  They loved their nieces and nephews, who had wonderful time learning about small town and farm life. 

Lillie was a great seamstress, who never used a pattern.  She would put a newspaper up to us, pencil it, cut it out and sew it up.  

Matching Dresses happened for holidays

Everyone was always in awe of what she could design and sew.  Barbara said during that time, every woman did needle work.  Barbara went on to say, “She crocheted and embroidered and her work was all over the house, doilies, runners, pillow cases, dish towels, all the good stuff those moms did.  She was a great cook, nothing gourmet, just good old country cooking.  She played games with us, Jacks, pick-up sticks; she would use spaghetti for the pickup sticks. She played hopscotch, and would participate for a minute in about anything we were doing.  

She worked as a waitress to help make ends meet.  She worked evenings, 2 pm -10 pm.  She rode the bus to work and dad brought her home.  One of them was with us almost all the time.  Mom was up, cooking breakfast, sent us to school, Dad was home by 5:30 with his lunch bucket to open and give us cookies out of it every day.  Then he was in charge of us.  He and I cooked the evening meal and Jerry and I took turns doing the dishes.  Mom wore a white uniform to work.  She was always spotless and smelled clean all the time.  I never knew her to wear perfume of any kind.  She would say "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" to all of us; hard to argue about taking a bath after hearing that.

Mom had week-ends off which left the family free to go to Fall River.  She loved to fish.  She loved the outdoors.  We had a one room cabin about the size of an over sized storage shed that had double bed bunk beds in it, that we all piled on.

 There was an apartment sized cook stove that mom cranked out her meals on and a little table and chairs.  She was always in good spirits and funny, teasing in nice ways, always positive ad uplifting.” This we have proof positive from both pictures and sibling stories.

 Barbara could never remember her mother hanging her head about anything.  “Dad was good to her.  He adored her. They were always hugging and kissing.  

We think this is was taken when they were married.

For the most part they agreed on how to raise kids.  Once in awhile, they would differ but nothing they couldn't work out.  If they ever argued, they never did it in front of us, nor did I ever hear them raise their voices against each other.  Anger was just not a part of our life.  If we did something wrong, we were disciplined and that was the end of it.  Mom had one thing she called her own.  That was her flower beds.  That was her quiet time.  The only time we were shut out of her life.  She would plant, preen, weed, and admire her off limits gardening.  As a result, none of us girls grow flowers or plants or anything of any kind.  Occasionally, I have tried it, but somewhere in me it's off limits and I can't enjoy it.  If she had known, she would have took us by the hand and taught us what she knew, but it was herself pretty preservation and I understand that.  Mom was pretty anti-social.  She was who she was and wasn't going to dress up, dress down, or do anything for other people's approval. She didn't visit with the neighbors.  She knew them all but was not interested in anything more than that.  Mom went barefoot all the time.  She was going in and out of the house hanging out clothes, and three of the neighbors were sitting in lawn chairs watching her.  One of them hollered and said "Hey Thole, we're going to take up a collection and buy you a pair of shoes"  Mom said "Don't bother, come on over and I'll give you all a pair of the damned things".”

Mom always said it like it was.  She never lied to us or anyone else.  She was sweet, the model wife; she never did anything without dad's approval, on the other hand, neither did dad.  She deeply believed in God and taught us right from wrong usually in moral ways.  Have absolutely no bad memories of my mother.  She was an angel not long for this earth.  We just didn't know.” ~ contributed by Barbara Thole Taylor

I am right there Barbara, I never had a negative moment in the presence of my Aunt Lillie, nor did I ever hear a negative word spoken of her from any of my Aunts, Uncles, or Grandmother. She was and is held in high esteem by those who remember her.